01 I Was Married
I married in the sun
Against the stone of buildings built before you and I were born
Into my heart confusion grows against
The muscles fought so long
To control against the pull of one magnet to another
Now we look up in
Into the eyes of bullies breaking backs
They seem so very tough
They seem so very scared of us
I look into the mirror for evil that just does not exist
I don't see what they see
Try to control the pull of one magnet to another
02 Relief Next to Me
I miss you now
I guess like I should have missed you then
My body moves like curtains waving in and out of wind
In and out of windows
I can't untangle what I feel and what would matter most
I can't close an eye, can't close an eyelid
Now there's no point in reaching out for me
In the dark, I'm just no good at giving relief
In the dark, it won't be easy to find relief
And I'm not proud that nothing will seem easy about me
But I promise this, I won't go my whole life telling you I don't need
I'll tell you now, I guess like I should have told you then
That thunder moves like damn drawers slamming in my frame
Slamming in my framework
I can't untangle what I know and what should matter most
I can't close an eye, can't close an eyelid
Now there's just no point in reaching out for you
03 The Con
I listened in, yes I'm guilty of this
You should know this
I broke down and wrote you back before you had a chance to
Forget forgotten, I am moving past this, giving notice
I have to go, yes I know that feeling, know you're leaving
Calm down, I'm calling you to say I'm capsized
Erring on the edge of safe
Calm down, I'm calling back to say I'm home now
And coming around, I'm coming around
Nobody likes to but I really like to cry
Nobody likes me, maybe if I cry
Spelled out your name and list the reasons
Faint of heart don't call me back
I imagine you
And I was distant not insistent
I follow suit and laid out on my back, imagine that
A million hours left to think of you and think of that
Encircle me
I need to be taken down
04 Knife Going In
If I don't recover, sell this house and find something lost outside your window
Not forever
On the night I die I swear I'll sleep outside your window
I feel the knife going in, I'm feeling anxious
Not enough to kill me
I thought it'd happen fast
But I'm feeling it now and I feel anxious
Sleeping inches from me, I let it pass
Emy should I stop?
Do you think I'll make it to the morning if it's written?
Stitch it up
The kind of song I know cause mother, sister, lover worry
05 Are You Ten Years Ago
Taken I am yours
I'm up and doing circles
I collapse
I might stay out longer than
I left the light on for you then
If you show you show
When I feel like this, when I get so into myself
I lose track of where I'm going then, lose track of how to get going again
Feel myself slowing down
Feel myself turning around
Is this taken?
When I feel like this, when I get so sick of myself
Where are you going then, without me
And not knowing then, that we're slowing down
You've got to turn right around
And tell me that I'm taken then
Tell me if I'm yours
You collapse
The pressure of this life is so you can't be held accountable
If you go you go
When you act like this, when you get so into yourself
I lose sight of common goals and letting go
So I can be all alone
Feel myself going slow, feel myself letting go
Not taken, not feeling like I'm yours
Taken I am yours
I'm up and doing circles
I collapse
This life looks like a sentence, though a constant game of falling short
If you know you know
When I feel like this, when I'm just so sick of feeling less than perfect
Isn't right for me, I never fight to see if coming clean would get to me
I feel myself holding back, I feel the pressure, it's finally back, I'm taken
When you felt like this, when you saw it all come crashing down
Subtle but not underground, I was there
I saw the signs I saw unfair and so I wrote to you through other means
I let myself finally feel taken
Like I was yours
06 Back in Your Head
Build a wall of books between us in our bed
Repeat, repeat, the words that I know we both have said
Relax into the need, we get so comfortable
Remember when I was so strange and likeable?
I just want back in your head
I'm not unfaithful but I'll stray
When I get a little scared, I run, run, run
When I jerk away from holding hands with you, I know these habits hurt important parts of you
Remember when I was sweet and unexplainable?
Nothing like this person, un-loveable
07 Hop a Plane
I took the train back, back to where I came from
I took it all alone, it's been so long, I know
Imagine me there my heart asleep with no air
Begging ocean please, help me drown these memories
All I need to hear is that you're not mine
I'm moving east then, somewhere far away from the sight of my hands, the sight of me not moving
You can't just hop a plane and come and visit me again
I claim it's in my head and I regret offering
You take a second, take a year
You took me out and took me in
And told me all of this and then
You take a moment, take a year, you helped me out
I listened in, you taught me all of this and then
08 Soil, Soil
Oh and I'm feeling directionless yes
But that's to be expected and I know that best
And in creeps the morning and another day's lost
You've just written wondering and I reply fast
All you need to save me
Call and I'll be curled on the floor hiding out from it all
And I won't take any other call
I feel like a fool so I'm going to stop troubling you
Buried in my yard, a letter to send to you
And if I forget or god forbid die too soon
Hope that you'll hear me, know that I wrote to you
All you need to say to me
09 Burn Your Life Down
Tell me that you know another way to get it done
It's not me, or how I would be, but it's a different situation
You lay awake in the night just staring at the ceiling above
Pulling pieces of it out, it's such a waste of time
Keep on fighting to remember that nothing is lost in the end when you burn your life down
Get me to the door, out of bed or on to track, I'm not sure
Starting over, it's a different situation
You wake up in the night, and refuse to be afraid of it now
unfolding pieces of it faster, don't you waste your time
You've been planning to remember this, so nothing will be lost in the end
Then you burn your life down
I drive around the block and I'm not looking to my right
i feel the glass against my cheek and I can't see you in the light
I break my heart around this
10 Nineteen
I felt you in my legs before I ever met you
And when I laid beside you for the first time I told you
"I feel you in my heart and I don't even know you"
And now we're saying bye
I was nineteen, calling
I felt you in my life before I ever thought to
Feel the need to lay down beside you and tell you
"I feel you in my heart and I don't even know you"
And now we're saying bye
I was nineteen, call me
Flew home, back to where we met
Stayed inside I was so upset
Cooked up a plan so good except I was all alone, you were all I had
Love you, you were all I had
Love me, I was yours right?
11 Floorplan
I want to draw you a floorplan of my head and heart
I want to give directions, helpful hints, what you'll be looking for
I know, I hold this loss in my heart forever
All eyes are on me now
I want your lungs to stop working without me
I think about writing you, I thought about calling you
What was I looking for?
What am I looking for?
I know, I hold this pain in my heart forever
I shouldn't go but I cant really help it when I feel this pressure
I shouldn't go when I feel this building
12 Like O, Like H
When I was eight I was sure I was growing nerves, like steel in my palm
Make a map of what you see, direct pain effectively
I was eight, I was sure I was growing pains like lead in my feet
S.o.S. to my mother, take the hinges off the door
Oh, oh, sugar spell it out
Like O, like h, in your gut
When I was four plus a ten I was swinging fists, like nails in a board
Pull your hands inside of you, six years till I'll be through
I was four plus ten, I was swinging fists, like a race to be sure
S.o.S. to my mother, take the hinges off the door
Oh, oh, sugar spell it out
Like O, like h, in your gut
13 Dark Come Soon
Dark, you can't come soon enough for me
Saved, from one more day of misery
Everything I love
Get back for me now
Everyone I love
I need you now
Don't forget a million miles for me
Safe and another day passed by me
Everything I love
Get back for me now
Everyone I love
I need you now
So I conned, I lied
I lied to me too (so what?)
So I conned, I lied
I lied to me too (so what?)
Hold out for the ones you know will love you
Hide out from the ones you know will love you
You, you too
Go to the edge and back
Slow
To make my move, I'm almost there
Everything I say
I say to me first
Everything I do
I do to me first
So what, I lied
I lied to me too (so what?)
So what, I lied
I lied to me too (so what?)
Hold out for the ones you know will love you
Hide out from the ones you know will love you
You, you too
Dark you can't come soon enough for me
14 Call It Off
I won't regret saying this
This thing that I'm saying
Is it better than keeping my mouth shut
That goes without saying
Call, break it off
Call, break my own heart
Maybe I would have been something you'd be good at
Maybe you would have been something I'd be good at
But now we'll never know
I won't be sad
But in case I go there
Everyday, to make myself feel bad
There's a chance that I'll start to wonder if this was the thing to do
I won't be out long
But I still think it better if
You take your time coming over here
I think that's for the best
Call, break it off
Call, break my own heart
Maybe I would have been something you'd be good at
Maybe you would have been something I'd be good at
But now we'll never know
I won't be sad
But in case I go there
Everyday, to make myself feel bad
There's a chance that I'll start to wonder if this was the thing to do
I'll start to wonder if this was the thing to do
